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Book Review: The Maxims of Manhood: 100 Rules Every Real Man Must Live By

Posted on 09. Jun, 2009 by MJay in Product Reviews

I’d like to start this article off by mentioning that I’ll be giving away a free copy of this book, autographed by yours truly to a commenter on this article.  All you’ve got to do is leave a comment and your email address.  When we reach a sufficient number of comments, I’ll either randomly select someone out of the list or award it to the most insightful comment.  Probably the latter.

So fire those comments away, lets hear what you have to think!

Anyway, on Sunday I received my much anticipated copy of The Maxims of Manhood: 100 Rules Every Real Man Must Live By by Jeff Wilser from Amazon and I think I’ve found literary gold.  I’m going to go ahead and say that this is the most I have ever laughed while reading a book.  Seriously.

I haven’t really found a good way classify this book, but its somewhere between comedic genus and a motivational, smart sign of the times compilation of essays.  Let me preface this article by saying that I don’t typically read for pleasure, or at least pleasure in the literal sense.  You’ll always find the latest copy of whatever personal finance or investment book on my nightstand, but reading a book like this isn’t really something I do all that often.  Knowing this, my good friend Bubba (who contributes to Bubba ‘n Earl Sittin’ on the 50) forwarded this book to me because he knew it would be right up my ally.  Boy he was right, from the first line of text to the last word, I caught myself analyzing, laughing at, and enjoying the fact that I am a male.  Now don’t read this statement and think the women in our audience out there wouldn’t like this.  I actually think you all would like this book more than us!  It reinforces the stereotypes that allow us to get along so well, providing sound reasoning into the way we think, act, and do.  This is all done with a tongue-in-cheek humor that will keep your sides splitting.

As we can all attest to, the modern male is quite complicated.  The “Metrosexual” movement (this isn’t all bad) is in full-effect and our male icons are no longer cool and stoic or rough and tumble guys like Sean Connery, Sly Stallone, Frank Sinatra, Clint Eastwood, and John Wayne.  Instead we are bombarded with “icons” like Ryan Seacrest and Justin Timberlake, blond tips all over the place, instant tans, and men’s designer jeans.  It should make every true male sick to the core!  The very question of what is a “man” is in jeopardy!

Really Justin? Really?

John Wayne Does Not Approve That Haircut

Thankfully we’ve got Mr. Wilser here to tell us whats wrong with the picture on the left and whats right about the picture on the right.

I will be the first to admit that Justin Timberlake is a really funny guy but lets not kid ourselves here.  He’s not the most manly of men and he’s giving young men around the world a free pass to prance around like little girls.  This is a problem us men have to find a solution to.  Answering everything from whether or not you are allowed to carry diaper bag (You Are!) to why you can NEVER be allowed to switch you favorite sports team (and I mean NEVER… looking your direction Boston Celtics fans), this book has got it all.

Everything, while done in a humorous tone, has underlying values that being a man represents.

Here’s an excerpt from Wilser’s book, one of my favorites, reminding why you the end doesn’t always justify the means.

Maxim #19: No Granny Shots

For the uninitiated: the granny shot is when you scoop the basketball with both hands, hold it between your squatting legs, then toss it in the air the way you might heave a microwave. It’s undignified. It’s unseemly. It looks like You’ve never even watched the game of basketball, much less played it.

It’s unacceptable. This doesn’t mean that you have to shoot a Steve Nash — like 90 percent from the charity stripe. But you need the basics. Shooting a basketball is Guy 101.

Similarly, you must demonstrate proficiency- even if it’s just rudimentary - for the following:

Tackle. The metaphor’s sort of painfully obvious, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Tackling shows that you can meet a problem squarely, unafraid to get hurt or get dirty. The guy who refuses to tackle is the guy who ducks a fight, dodges the draft, and skips his alimony.

Run a Mile. You’re allowed to huff and puff. And you don’t have to run the 40 in 4.3 seconds. But at the very least, you must be able to jog a mile without looking like Chunk from Goonies.

Do a pull-up. If Linda Hamilton can do several pull-ups in T2, you should at the very least be able to do one. Palms out, straight waist, no bucking.

Throw a baseball. You’ll never outgrow this. Long after those sunny days at Little League, you’ll still be faced with company picnics and afternoon dates. Even if you despise the game of baseball, it’s your contractual duty to teach this to your son. If you don’t do it for you, do it for him. Same goes for throwing a tight spiral.

Swim. It’s not necessary to be Michael Phelps, but if you can’t even tread water, you risk getting saved from drowning by a woman or a child. Consider staying underwater.

Maxim in Action

Look at Shaquille O’Neal. Experts mostly agree: shooting a free throw underhanded — granny style — might actually improve Shaq’s woeful free throw percentage. The Big Aristotle, however, knows that if he resorts to this ignominy, what he gains in percentages he loses in street cred, intimidation factor, and self-respect. The second he attempts a granny shot, he stops being the most feared player on the planet and starts being the biggest laughingstock since Shawn Bradley. If a 300-pound beast like Shaq can’t get away with shooting a granny shot, then neither can you.

Maxim Exceptions

If you’re in a wheelchair you’re off the hook, but you’re still expected to compete in quadriplegic rugby. (Like Jason Street in Friday Night Lights.) Additionally, if you’re clearly dominant in one sport, it gives you the luxury to slack off in others. If LeBron James played baseball, for instance, he could whiff every pitch and bat .025 and we wouldn’t question his athleticism or virility. In fact, this has happened. His name was Michael Jordan.

The above is an excerpt from the book Maxims of Manhood: 100 Rules Every Real Man Must Live By by Jeff Wilser.

Copyright © 2009 Jeff Wilser, author of Maxims of Manhood: 100 Rules Every Real Man Must Live

What are you opinions of the modern man?

Do you agree with the above excerpt?

Have you read the book? What did you think?

Don’t forget to drop you email in the comments section, if you don’t feel comfortable leaving your email address, leave a comment and shoot me an email @ mjay@nowicanbuybeer.com

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